Floating Within the Thoughts in My Head

As I sit in my room, pondering about the events of this past week, I feel like I needed to say a few things. I suppose this would be the proper venue, so here I am, leaking my thoughts out to clear them from my mind. I'm sorry, dear blog, for ignoring you so much...I'll try to change that.

I will note that much of the content is simply conjecture and while there is documentation regarding these ideas, I want to develop my thoughts with my current knowledge (or rather, lack of it) before learning more.

I recall this this Simpsons episode where Lisa finds the skeleton of an angel during an excavation. The discovery sends the entire town of Springfield into arms as there begins a battle between those who felt that science was the answer to all of life's unanswered questions, while others felt that some things are best left to faith in religion. It led to one of my favorite Simpsons moments were a robot museum is burned down and a robot rolls out and laments, "Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"

Of course, this hasn't been limited to this episode, as the debate between religion vs. science has continued all through time and likely will not come to a conclusion anytime soon. And it seems that with any heavy subject like this, one is forced to choose sides. And as I consider which team to take up arms with, I begin to learn about myself. If you weren't aware, I believe that I'm a religious person. I may not actively practice Islam, but I do hold many of its ideals within my heart (I know that seems somewhat hypocritical, but that's not the point and may be better for another post).

At the same time, I'm a Chemistry major and appreciate how science has developed to a point at which so many inexplicable phenomena can be explained that was once relegated to some form of faith. For example, the ancient Greeks explained the seasons through Hades' and Demeter's battle for custody of Demeter. Nowadays it's agreed that the seasons result from the Earth's axis spinning on a tilt. There's this idea that faith is used as an intermediate explanation until science can advance far enough to dissolve these beliefs with facts.

Personally, I don't see how the two cannot live in harmony. What exactly is so ridiculous about an omnipotent being having such a vast array of power? It seems no more far fetched than how this Earth came to be, considering how insanely low the probability is for everything to be in such a perfect balance. I recall hearing how if Earth was just a bit closer to the sun, it'd be much too hot to be habitable, while it would be a ball of ice if the opposite held true. I think there has to be a director creating a stage and guiding this movement. I suppose it is unscientific of me to have such blind faith. However, the idea that science will eventually explain everything is just another flavor of this mentality. What if the numbers don't add up? Then what?

At the same time, religion hasn't always been completely incorrect. I do know that there is evidence that the Qur'an has a few passages which state ideas that weren't scientifically proven until much later. An example is how the structure and appearance of a human embryo is correctly described--something that wasn't proven until recently with the development of high-powered microscopes.

As such, there is one concept that has always fascinated me. The idea stems from Metroids from the eponymous game series. And yes, I know I'm citing a video game in a discussion regarding science, but bear with me here. Metroids feed off of all sorts of energy as sustenance, which is done by ramming their unfortunate prey, digging their mandibles into them and extracting their energy. The interesting idea is that there isn't any actually anything extracted from the Metroid's target. Biologically speaking, there is no difference between a creature before and after a Metroid attack, aside from the obvious puncture wounds. However, the squealing space jellyfish are able to grow and evolve from this unquantifiable energy and are even able to inject it back into creatures to heal them.

This draws a parallel to "real" science, where there is practically the same connection between the living and the dead. As Dr. Manhattan put it, "a live human body and a deceased human body have the same number of particles. Structurally there's no difference." Considering that, what is life, then? Science thrives on the empirical, yet it seems that life cannot be quantified. I don't know what scientific theories there exist out there regarding this, but perhaps life is imparted through something that defies standard convention? A soul, if you may. There obviously is a clear difference between a living and a dead organism, and life is constantly referred to as a "miracle." Even moreso, life is purely a mystery in terms of its origins. Divine intervention seems like the easy way out, but sometimes the simplest explanations are correct.

And from a scientific perspective, there have always been breakthroughs which have developed into new perspectives, like the structure of an atom, which went through numerous revisions before finalizing on the current model. Perhaps this idea of a soul still obeys all the rules, but to a game that hasn't been discovered? In fact, just as light was proven to exist both as a wave and a particle (and undeniable evidence pointing to both), there could be a duality to all of this.

Yet, suppose "life" did have some sort of physical form? What if this essence of life extracted from a living creature was reduced to a basic chemical formula? It certainly has been humbling to see that we are nothing more than lengthy chains of the same material as pencil lead. Or that flies have more genes in their genome than humans by a significant amount. So what if "life" was nothing more than a puff of gas that's easily synthesized in a lab or something equally underwhelming?

It seems trivial, but the idea of something so grand and incomprehensible reduced to a simplistic expression is fascinating. And as you may be aware, the predecessor to modern chemistry can be traced to alchemy, which sought to engineer immortality, among other endeavors. Could the idea of quantifying and identifying exactly what life is bring chemistry back to its roots? I can see it now...people taking injections of pure life as a solution to all of their medical issues to the point where anything can become literally immortal.

(rereads what I wrote) Man, I was all over the place with that... who knew that religion, science, Metroid and alchemy all shared a common thread? I didn't even mean for it to develop like that...I meant to speak more how science and religion don't need to be mutually exclusive!

LOOK AT MY TINY LEGS GODDAMN

I used to love drawing. Ever since I was a wee lad, I would always find myself drawn to reams of paper, as they were blank faces just waiting to be given life. In the early days of high school, I'd carry a sketchbook around with me wherever I went and drew whatever came to mind, which was terrible looking anime characters 99% of the time. However, as time went on, I found myself using a pencil more to draw pictures through words than actually creating them. Writing came much more naturally to me and was much simpler to refine.

As time went on, I stopped drawing altogether--even the doodles that adorned the margins in my notebooks slowly stopped appearing. I guess it was because I become so overly critical of my drawings; my standards exceeded my skill and I wasn't willing to practice enough to get better. In retrospect, I wish I had kept at it...drawing well is certainly a good way to impress the ladies!

Anyways, last night I found a blank sheet of paper within my pink Princess Peach folder. Without even realizing it, I started to scribble on it with no real direction until I had compose a head with an oversized chin. Eventually, I kept at it, not caring about what I was doing wrong until I was almost finished. And well, I'm quite proud of the result! It's not perfect, but it's the best thing I've drawn since my hair was completely black!
The weird proportions came from a lack of planning; I didn't expect to actually finish this picture and by the time I started drawing the belt, I'd mostly run out of room for his legs. So instead of cutting them off, I figured I'd just squeeze them in. I'm very happy with this unintentional result!

Maybe I should tackle Chun-Li and her Thunder Thighs next...?

Aural Flame

When I was in junior high, I was sitting with someone when my ears starting ringing all of a sudden. I pointed this out to him, thinking it was somewhat odd, considering there was nothing that sparked this event. He told me that your ears ring when someone is talking about you. If your right ear is ringing, they're saying positive things, while your left ear means they're saying negative things about you. I later learned of the expression of burning ears which essentially meant the same thing. I liked to think that the left/right ear extended to that as well.

This is more of a random anecdote than anything else, but there was one time where I slept over at Steve's house after we went to see Superbad with the rest of the children. It was around 3-4AM after he dropped me off, but I had been locked out of my house. No one seemed to be awake to open the door, so Steve was nice enough to pick me up and let me spend the night. As I lay in his basement trying to fall asleep, my right ear was both ringing and burning with a pretty strong intensity. I'm not sure who was speaking of me at that time, but it still makes me wonder, since at that point, everyone whom I knew was probably asleep. And if it was my family, why exactly wouldn't they have answered the doorbell?

Anyways, there tend to be occasions where my ears will be ringing and/or burning (though I've yet to figure out the "spiritual" difference between the two) and usually the situation presents itself to who would be saying what about me. This week, however, my ears have been ringing/burning sporadically throughout and I'm not really sure what's going on. It's usually my left ear, too.

So which one of you has been talking shit about me?

Updates!

Because I'm rather bored at the moment, I've actually decided to update my blog for the first time in months. Quite a bit has happened since then, but obviously, making a post labeling everything I've done would be rather crazy. So I guess I'll just recount the last week, where I went to Pittsburgh and Augustana, just like I did the previous year. Except I'm too lazy to type up coherent sentences, so instead, I'll just list the three most awesome things I did at each.

Pitt:
3. Swordfighting with Hussy in the middle of a K-Mart
2. Being a water fountain connoisseur with Hussy (the Frick building on the Pitt campus has the most amazing water fountain I've had the delight of using!_
1. Texting both Steve and Hussy about teaming up to beat up each other. Basically, I sent Steve a text to coordinate an attack on Hussy and sent Hussy the same text, except it was about coordinating an attack on Steve. Unfortunately, it failed as they both turned on me.

Augie
3. Chatting it up with my buddies as usual and also watching the Valkyria Chronicles anime with Andrew.
2. Brad and Jenna's wedding and the subsequent reception at Ya Makin' My Weekend. It was rather nice to see them serving Halal burgers!
1. GO FOR BROKE!

And now I've returned, only to find that everyone is gone or is soon to leave, as everyone starts their schooling approximately two weeks before I do. Wonderful. So I figured with that time, I'd spend it doing something slightly different, like perhaps learning to sew properly or making another animation. Stuff that doesn't involve me playing video games. If you've got any ideas, feel free to post and let me know.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play through God Hand for the millionth time.

Failing Organic Chemistry

I have this habit of writing stupid things in the middle of homework assignments and tests. Usually, I'll write a little note to the teacher or put a useless piece of trivia, since I figure that it breaks the monotony of having to grade everything over and over again.

On my last OChem test, I wrote this:

Harmless enough, no? Anyone who knows me should be aware of how entertained I am by this fact.

And then today, while waiting for class to begin, some kids were talking about our OChem professor. A student mentioned that he was rather surprised to learn that Dr. Dintzner is, in fact, gay.

Oh shit.

Dr. D is aware of me being an obnoxious idiot, but I get the feeling that this crossed the line. I didn't mean any harm, but I seem to have been causing a lot of unintentional damage lately.

If I fail this quarter, at least I'll know why.

Strange Weekend Indeed

I'm a bit late with this post, but alas, school has certainly become my primary lover.

This past weekend was standard protocol; I went to Derek and Lindsay's place after class and spent much of my time either drooling over Airsoft or playing video games. I attempted to beat Super Metroid in under three hours, but unfortunately, my haste led me to be severely underpowered to fight Phantoon. I'm sure I'd be in a much worse predicament when faced with Ridley, considering I have trouble beating him when decently powered. Regardless, just as Derek finally caught a Hylian Loach Friday evening, I shall achieve this challenge one day as well!

Also, the Albino Twins and I saw Coraline in 3D. I initially suspected the 3D to be nothing more than a gimmick, but it's actually quite the visual treat! That, coupled with how artistically amazing the movie itself was, left me quite speechless as I exited the theater. What truly blew my mind was that the movie is animated by stop-motion, not by CGI. It's nice to see that computers haven't truly replaced everything...yet...

Anyways, on Saturday night Lindsay's family came over to celebrate her 21st birthday. I was actually quite surprised at the minimal amount of focus placed on alcohol, considering this is white people we're talking about. However, more important was a conversation I had between Jacapo, the Italian foreign-exchange student and Chris, Lauren's all-American boyfriend.

Adil (in an obnoxious voice): Hey, Chris, you're Italian, right?
Chris: I'm of Italian descent, yeah, why do you ask?
Adil: Well, is Jacapo, like, your brother or something?
(Chris and Jacapo both blankly stare at me)
Adil: So like, can you speak your language to each other?
(They continue to look at me as if I'm mentally retarded)

Now, as preposterous and just plain stupid as I sounded, that is exactly how white people act when two people of similar backgrounds are in proximity to each other. I can't even recount how many times people have asked if I'm related to someone else of Desi, Arab, Persian, or even Filipino backgrounds, solely because we're "foreign."

However, that reminds me of one of my favorite memories with my idiot friends. Derek and Lindsay were driving me home when we stop at a red light. A car pulls up next to us and Lindsay peers out to see the inhabitants of the neighboring vehicles.

"OME* HEY ADIL THOSE GUYS IN THAT CAR LOOK JUST LIKE YOU"
*OME is used as a replacement for "OMG" by Twilight fans. The implication is that Edward is God.

Slightly annoyed, I look over, expecting to see a pair of typical Desis that, of course look like me, on account that we're brown. Damn white people, I think. Only, I see Faisal and Tahir looking back at me.

That bitch got lucky this time.

Anyways, enough digressions. Upon leaving my third home at UIC, I headed back to my second home in Evanston. What an adventure that was! Upon waiting for a Red Line train, I see two people engaged in what seemed to a be a fist fight to the death. I'm not sure why they were fighting, but they were really going at it. Of course, I couldn't keep myself from laughing at the scene. Neither could the CTA official watching.

And then while I was on the Red Line train going through Douchebagville, Chicago (AKA Lincoln Park), there was a rather overweight Korean guy standing in the middle of the train. He had this gigantic necklace hanging from his neck, which were actually speakers blaring techno music. Most of the people on the train weren't amused by his antics, judging by their groans. One man had the courage to stand up to him. One man and his popped collar.

"Hey asshole, this isn't your God damn club! Would you fucking shut that off?"
"What'd you say?!"
"I said get some fucking headphones if you wanna listen to that shit!"
"You want my ass, motherfucker?! You want my ass?!"

Mr. Korean Techno had a very awkward way of talking...like he never usually cusses, but was doing it to defend what little honor he had. You could even hear a slight hint of a whimper; he likely feared this alpha male. The two exchanged further profanities as everyone expected physical violence to erupt. Unfortunately, before that could happen, Mr. Korean let the weight of his speaker-necklace droop his head as he retreated into an adjacent car.

Maybe I should stop blasting Gusty Garden Galaxy while riding the train...

Fitting In? Not Exactly...

I'm starting to enjoy DePaul more. While I'm still mostly alone and left without too much social contact, I feel like I'm becoming more accustomed to everything. I still really miss the small-school in a small-town feeling that Augustana gave me, but it simply reminds me of the words of wisdom that Mr. Bruce imparted to me during senior year: You can't have it all. Even still, at least I have people in my classes to talk to. Especially my Organic Lab; I'm stuck in a corner consisting of various delinquent students who love to tell fun stories and love to hear my Augustana misadventures as well.

And hey, I'm starting to be more obnoxious in class. If that's not a sign of me being happy, then what is?

Sure, I'm still stuck in a school consisting entirely of douchebags and emos, but when I sit back and think about it...it's going to be the same no matter where I go. Plus, the fact that I'm so far removed from the students leaves me in a position where I can easily avoid parties and the like, which is certainly beneficial to my interests.

Despite all of this, the reason I'm going to college is to get an education. And while I still truly miss my friends at Augustana, I think the quality of education I'm getting at DePaul far exceeds whatever that school in Rock Island could have offered.

Alas, while things could be better, at least I'm not so depressed that I'm suffering psychological damage. That alone is enough to be thankful for!

In addition, I think I've finally found a decent path in terms of school. I think sticking with Chemistry as a major is something I can accept with more fondness--it's certainly an acquired taste that I've come to enjoy. I believe I'll be specifically majoring in Biochem, since that way, I can at least have a taste of biology--my first love. Why don't I just major in Biology you say? I still can't figure that one out, either.

Secondly, I may have decided on minoring in Japanese Language. If I do choose to go ahead and do this, then I pretty much have to study abroad in Japan for eight weeks during the summer of 2010. Quite a delight, really, as I've been wanting to study abroad ever since Faisal and Aisha told me their stories from their college days. And in Japan, too!

And for those of you critics asking what I'm supposed to do with a Biochem/Japanese Language degree...well, Dr. Robotnik says it best:

...Yeah...

To top it all off, Faisal and I are getting along great--all my fears of living with him were completely unfounded. Though the two of us are often too busy to hang out aside from the occassional dinner or Simpsons episode, I'm just glad I'm able to spend time with him before he gets married this summer.

Overall, even if I am very stressed out from school, I'm happy with my current situation. So happy, that I just may revive the Toilet Times...it's wishful thinking at this point, but it may happen if I can figure out a way to make it work.