I once read that we act selfless for purely selfish reasons. For example, if I were to present you with a gift of some sort, it wouldn't be because I truly care about you, but rather because I enjoy the feeling I get in doing such an action. Or maybe I simply want you to have a more favorable opinion of me. Maybe I subconsciously expect something in return? Regardless, it's an interesting concept. Ultimately, it means that we all only care about our own skin and everything we do is simply for our own advancement. We'll help others because we know that, in the end, we will somehow benefit from it.
Take a look at the opening scene in The Dark Knight. These thugs are helping each other solely because they understand that they individually cannot pull off the bank heist and require the expertise of various others (in addition to the extra manpower) required to do so. While they may not be able to have the entire amount of money being stored in the bank, it's more money than what they started with, and certainly more money than they would have acquired had they attempted to rob the bank alone.
With this in mind, I had a certainly interesting experience today in my Calc class. A friend of mine named Salmaan is in the class with me and always sits next to me since he doesn't understand the material too well and I'm able to clarify it for him. And ever since school started, he's been doing all of his notetaking and homework in pen. So today, while he left his desk to answer a phone call, I snuck a pencil on his desk because I felt bad for the kid. When he came back, he made no acknowledgement to the mysterious eraseable writing utensil that had appeared. Still, the fact that he was able to take notes more efficiently was enough for me.
And as class ended, there was a wallet that was left on a seat in the classroom. Salmaan was the first to pick it up. We attempted to chase after the kid, but we walked right into an ocean of kids all exiting class, ready to proceed with their days. I grabbed the wallet from Salmaan and tried to run down five flights of stairs to see if I could catch the kid. Unfortunately, there was a roadblock in the form of a pair of douchebaguettes chatting about their hair appointment later that day.
Once I made it to the lobby, I was scanning as fast as I could, attempting to match a face with the picture on the license that I peered at whilst running down the stairs. Once Salmaan caught up to me, I asked him to check outside the building while I would search for the kid (whose name was Paul). At that point, Salmaan and I had a chat.
S: "Dude, just take the cash and drop it. I'm sure if he was in this situation, he'd do the same thing."
A: "While that may be true, I feel that if I were in his situation, I would like if someone did the right thing."
S: "And then he'd be inclined to do something nice for someone else, too."
A: "Exactly. Think if it as viral marketing...except it's more like viral Samaritism."
S: "Come on, you could order an awesome computer off of Newegg and use his credit card!"
A: "Yes, and where would they ship it to? My house? I'm sure the cops would be there before the parts would."
While he was saying his unscrupulous ideas with a touch of sarcasm in his voice, I still think he was being somewhat honest. It's funny, actually, as he headed outside and I proceeded to the first floor of the building, I was reminded of how old Bugs Bunny cartoons would have the arguing mini-angels and devils on the shoulders of various characters.
Unfortunately, my search turned up to be fruitless, and attempting to find my Calc professor for information was just as useless, since he was away from his office. But I realized that if I had Paul's license, I had the location of this residence. Thus, I got onto the first computer I found and Googled his address, which led me to his house number. Upon calling, I was met with four rings and an answering machine, where I explained the situation to whom I assume was his dad that recorded the message.
From there, it was playing the waiting game. I called Salmaan to see if he had found anything, but I guess he had already left campus. Typical of him, really. I don't think he even tried looking to begin with. I returned to my Calc classroom, asking the professor if anyone had asked about a wallet. She said no, but told me to turn it into the Lost & Found with DePaul Security. While I could have ended my quest at that point, I simply didn't want to be caught up with the bueraucracy of it all and intended to return it myself. Why get a middleman involved?
Anyways, I headed to the computer lab in order to print out a few things regarding the OChem lab I had in two hours. Naturally, I found myself on Facebook instead.
Facebook!
How could I have been so stupid? Of course the kid is on Facebook! Now, while I almost set my status to his name (stupid new Facebook relocating the Search box), I managed to find his profile rather quickly. I was hoping he'd have his cell phone number listed, but the only contact information displayed was his screen name. So I just left him a message saying that I had his wallet and to call me when he got it. Yet again, I was caught in the waiting game.
He called me about ten minutes later as I was noting how Lindsay feels how I'm nothing more than a pain in the neck (which, honestly, I won't argue with). We planned to meet up in the center of the campus, where there's a large statue of some disproportionate guy in front of the Student Center. There, I returned the wallet to it's rightful owner and we headed our separate ways.
In retrospect, I felt like a stalker trying to hunt this kid down. Sure, it was for a noble reason, but still, I'll probably do the same thing with some girl in the near future. Then again, who's to say I haven't? ;) But anyways, what exactly was I to achieve by helping this kid out? I received no reward aside from a simply "Thanks," and a Facebook message saying the same thing. He'll never know the extent of the trouble I went though nor how easy it could have been to taking the cash and running. And best of all, the kid seemed like the archetypal douchebag, my worst enemy (I mean, he had the word "bro" within his screen name!). And yet, that sense of satisfaction I got from taking an hour out of my day to make another's better seemed to be worth it.
So does that make me a selfish prick or what?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Primal Needs
As you all may know, I enjoy talking on the phone with people, as I feel there is no substitute for a good, thoughtful conversation. However, I also find it rude when people talk on the phone in public places (even though I will admit that I've been guilty of the crime in the past). However, I've been having this barely controllable urge to sit in a public place (an L train, for example) and converse with someone on the phone.
And then, all of a sudden, I'll shout "Snake? What's wrong?! Answer me! Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAKE!!!"
I dunno what I'd do after that. Aside from hanging up the phone, that is.
And then, all of a sudden, I'll shout "Snake? What's wrong?! Answer me! Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAKE!!!"
I dunno what I'd do after that. Aside from hanging up the phone, that is.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Ramadan
My apologies on taking so long to write a new post. School is certainly taking up much of my time, but to be completely honest, I'm enjoying it so far. I don't want myself to get too comfortable, though, since I'm sure things will only get busier as the time progresses.
As most of you know, I've been fasting since September 2nd because it is currently the holy month of Ramadan in the Islamic calendar. So far, it hasn't been too bad, despite running around all over campus while lugging a bag that weighs approximately 17 pounds. Generally Faisal will wake me up around 4:45AM and we'll eat a small breakfast while watching ESPN or something. I usually don't each much; a piece of toast, a cup of yogurt and a glass of water is almost too much for me. Though there are some days where neither of us will wake up and we'll go the whole day without eating. Honestly, I find those fasts to be somewhat easier, as getting a good night's sleep always helps me control my hunger.
I will admit there was one day where I was running around the city for a good hour and a half trying to find where the Muslim students at DePaul break their fast. The one kid I ran into gave me the worst possible directions (at one point, I'm sure I was closer to UIC than I was to DePaul) and I got a little panicky as the sun was close to setting and I still couldn't find the place. In fact, I was getting pretty angry and ended up having a conversation with myself to help calm down. It didn't help much. But aside from that day, I've been fine.
Also, if you're a friend on Facebook, you're aware of my invitation to fast with me next Friday. This found its origin during my stay at Augustana two years back, where I was fasting pretty much completely alone. Sure, there were other Muslim kids (a measly three, to be exact), but I hardly knew them and I felt awkward talking to them. I found it pretty hard to retain my fasts during those days, since even though I effortlessly fasted alone in high school, at least I'd go home to my family and had their support. But that wasn't the case then.
I still don't remember exactly what sparked the idea for others to join me in fasting, but just the thought of all my friends from high school who'd been dispersed all over the country fasting with me made me feel a lot better. I wasn't expecting much of a turnout, especially at Augustana, where I hardly knew anyone well enough beyond greeting them on sight. Nonetheless, I invited everyone whom I knew on Facebook.
I am still partially in shock from when I walked into the Westerlin dining hall, ready to grab some grub after yet another agonizing day at Augustana. There I was met with a pretty large group of kids (my memory tells me about 40 kids, but I don't know if I believe that), most of whom I didn't even know, who had decided to join me in abstaining from food and water that day. My roommate Alex, an archetypal hippie in every sense of the word, had been going through a phase where he was extremely interested in Islam, rallied quite a crowd.
This was a group of college kids, the most indulgent of people, joining a lone student in fasting whom they barely knew. I remember my exact thought as everyone lamented to me about how hard it was to go without eating, but managed to survive long enough to see their endeavor to the end. :
Maybe things won't be so bad here after all.
Well, it was, but that's not the point.
I continued it next year, more out of tradition's sake, as I was living at home again and it would be easier to fast. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I believe the turnout was a little less than it was the year prior. Either way, I was surprised to see that a lot of people were willing to fast for a day. I got a few more disrespectful comments as well, ("No, because I'm not fucking Indian like you!"), but that's to be expected.
This'll be the third year I do this. I hardly need the psychological boost anymore, but it does help quite a bit when I see so many people partake. I've realized that the reason so many people have such a poor image of Islam is because there is an onslaught of information against the faith and there's very little saying otherwise. I like to think that I'm doing my part in upsetting that balance, however miniscule.
Plus, you could all lose a little bit of weight.
As most of you know, I've been fasting since September 2nd because it is currently the holy month of Ramadan in the Islamic calendar. So far, it hasn't been too bad, despite running around all over campus while lugging a bag that weighs approximately 17 pounds. Generally Faisal will wake me up around 4:45AM and we'll eat a small breakfast while watching ESPN or something. I usually don't each much; a piece of toast, a cup of yogurt and a glass of water is almost too much for me. Though there are some days where neither of us will wake up and we'll go the whole day without eating. Honestly, I find those fasts to be somewhat easier, as getting a good night's sleep always helps me control my hunger.
I will admit there was one day where I was running around the city for a good hour and a half trying to find where the Muslim students at DePaul break their fast. The one kid I ran into gave me the worst possible directions (at one point, I'm sure I was closer to UIC than I was to DePaul) and I got a little panicky as the sun was close to setting and I still couldn't find the place. In fact, I was getting pretty angry and ended up having a conversation with myself to help calm down. It didn't help much. But aside from that day, I've been fine.
Also, if you're a friend on Facebook, you're aware of my invitation to fast with me next Friday. This found its origin during my stay at Augustana two years back, where I was fasting pretty much completely alone. Sure, there were other Muslim kids (a measly three, to be exact), but I hardly knew them and I felt awkward talking to them. I found it pretty hard to retain my fasts during those days, since even though I effortlessly fasted alone in high school, at least I'd go home to my family and had their support. But that wasn't the case then.
I still don't remember exactly what sparked the idea for others to join me in fasting, but just the thought of all my friends from high school who'd been dispersed all over the country fasting with me made me feel a lot better. I wasn't expecting much of a turnout, especially at Augustana, where I hardly knew anyone well enough beyond greeting them on sight. Nonetheless, I invited everyone whom I knew on Facebook.
I am still partially in shock from when I walked into the Westerlin dining hall, ready to grab some grub after yet another agonizing day at Augustana. There I was met with a pretty large group of kids (my memory tells me about 40 kids, but I don't know if I believe that), most of whom I didn't even know, who had decided to join me in abstaining from food and water that day. My roommate Alex, an archetypal hippie in every sense of the word, had been going through a phase where he was extremely interested in Islam, rallied quite a crowd.
This was a group of college kids, the most indulgent of people, joining a lone student in fasting whom they barely knew. I remember my exact thought as everyone lamented to me about how hard it was to go without eating, but managed to survive long enough to see their endeavor to the end. :
Maybe things won't be so bad here after all.
Well, it was, but that's not the point.
I continued it next year, more out of tradition's sake, as I was living at home again and it would be easier to fast. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I believe the turnout was a little less than it was the year prior. Either way, I was surprised to see that a lot of people were willing to fast for a day. I got a few more disrespectful comments as well, ("No, because I'm not fucking Indian like you!"), but that's to be expected.
This'll be the third year I do this. I hardly need the psychological boost anymore, but it does help quite a bit when I see so many people partake. I've realized that the reason so many people have such a poor image of Islam is because there is an onslaught of information against the faith and there's very little saying otherwise. I like to think that I'm doing my part in upsetting that balance, however miniscule.
Plus, you could all lose a little bit of weight.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
First Days
Ah the first day of school. I still have vague memories of my first day of kindergarten at Central Road Elementary, actually. I believe my cousins from New York were visiting at that time and decided to tag along. I also recall that a kid by the name of Nicholas Logsdon decided to call me "Uh-Dill" instead of "Ah-Dill," since the latter was too hard for him to pronounce, especially the "d" sound. Funny how things turn out like that...
My first day of junior high was one of lament; I wanted to go to Plum Grove Junior High, not stupid Carl Sandburg, since all of my friends went to Plum Grove. Instead, I was stuck with a bunch of idiots at Carl Sandburg...like those two idiots named Steve Kocian and Lindsay Hutchins. Boy, did I hate them...
The first day of high school was surrounded with confusion. Twice I sat in the wrong class for about ten minutes before realizing my error and I recall fawning over a certain female specimen as I did for much of my high school career. Otherwise, I spent most of my time drowning in the massive crowd of people at William Fremd High School.
And of course, my first day of class at Augustana was nothing short of memorable. Finally, after thirteen years of schooling with roughly the same crowd of people, I finally had a clean slate and was at a place 175 miles where the name "Adil" didn't carry a very specific connotation. Upon beginning my first ever college course, "Origins of Feminism in the Ancient World," with a professor who looked like a vegan lesbian, my first words to her were:
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure!"
"Women's rights!"
This incident reminds of how humanity, no matter how advanced their society will reach, always uses their knowledge in order to kill people more efficiently. Alfred Nobel invents dynamite for use in mining operations, yet humans use its explosive potential for harming others. The same goes for Einstein learning the massive energy potential of splitting atoms, where man chose to create a weapon of immeasurable destruction. Just as humanity is doomed to forever degenerate to commiting mass fratricide, I am doomed to forever deface my image as quickly as possible.
Anyways, after the class collectively gasped in awe that I actually said what I did, the teacher sternly looked at me.
"Wanna hear an even funnier joke?"
For that fraction of a moment between the setup and the punchline, I was truly scared. I had gone too far this time--my safety net of "Oh, it's just Adil being Adil" wasn't there to save me. And then she said it.
"A sensitive man!"
As she exploded in a fit of laughter that sounded something like the Wicked Witch of the West, I sighed in relief that I would be okay. But after that, when people heard the name "Adil," they knew exactly what that entailed.
I was too tired to think as I ate some cottage cheese and a piece of toast with some hummus smeared on top of it this morning at 4:30AM and I was in too much of a rush to get ready this morning. But when I stepped onto the platform at Fullerton station off of the Purple Line Express train, I came to a realization: I was presented with yet another clean slate.
Fortunately, I was dressed in my pink shirt, white pants, black vest and eyepatch, so I guess that was a subtle way of telling everyone who I was. But I didn' t do anything crazier than that. I had some ideas, but ultimately, I feel that if I lay low now, people won't know who Batman is when he shows up later this year.
As I neared the heart of campus, my greatest fear was realized. There was such a high concentration of douchebags all over the place that I could feel my vagina getting cleaner (or infected, depending on your standpoint) as I walked around. Augustana had its fair share of douchebags and douchebaguettes (the female form, as Dana and I coined last night), but this was crazy. Imagine it like Pokemon. Augustana was Red/Blue/Yellow, where there were only 151 in a relatively small world. DePaul is like Diamond/Pearl, where there's 493 spread all over a gigantic region. Hey, at least it's better than being surrounded by fobs!
Moving on...my first class was Japanese. Like any first-timer, I couldn't find the building for the life of me, even after the girl at the help desk described it as looking "like a giant cheese grater." And when I did find the building, the entire block was surrounded by a fence with a tiny opening on the opposite side from where I was. I was only about five minutes late, though. We didn't do much aside from simply practice basic greetings ("Hajime mashite!"), introductions ("Mohyuddin desu!") and the usual, "Pleased to meet you!" ("Douzo yoroshiku!). Nothing too hard, but I get the feeling that this class will be almost as bad as Organic Chemistry once it picks up. I suppose it's fortunate that my sensei seems like a very nice person. I'm a bit surprised that she's white, though.
Since I had about an hour and a half to burn between Japanese and OChem, I sat in the student center and read. However, I didn't want to be late for this class, so I started my quest to locate the classroom rather early. I ended up making a complete fool of myself upon asking an upperclassman for directions. I fumbled for my schedule in my pocket after getting lost in a building and pointed out where I needed to go. The kid looked at me with a "What are you, stupid?" expression and pointed to the classroom right behind me. Yeah...
The first day of OChem wasn't bad; it was nothing more than basic review of the most basic concepts in Chemistry. Stuff like how everything is made of atoms and atoms are made of protons, neutrons and electrons! I was surprised to see that the kids around me were taking notes so furiously. My professor does seem like a cool guy, though--he seems like a thirty year old hipster who rocks out to Ben Gibbard, which is completely fine by me.
Immediately afterwards was Intro to Philosophy. Being an idiot as usual, I walked about a two blocks in the wrong direction before realizing that the building is literally next door to where my OChem class was. Whoops... Anyways, the first image I got from the professor was pretty positive, since she seemed like she could be either the mom or simply an older version of a friend of mine named Allison. I really can't describe it (nor can I really describe Allison), but take my word for it. We spent most of the class just introducing ourselves and admitting how none of us really wanted to take the class as we're all just fulfilling a requirement. I've always wondered how the professors feel about that...
Afterwards, I decided to explore the campus for a bit, but my right foot was killing me, so I went for a swim for about an hour. It didn't do too much to alleviate my foot pain, so I ended up going home right as I got out. It's not like I had anything to do on campus anyways...
It was a pretty boring day, to be honest, but I suppose it's all I could have expected. Maybe Batman, Big Boss, Mario or Link should make an appearance earlier than planned to rile things up?
My first day of junior high was one of lament; I wanted to go to Plum Grove Junior High, not stupid Carl Sandburg, since all of my friends went to Plum Grove. Instead, I was stuck with a bunch of idiots at Carl Sandburg...like those two idiots named Steve Kocian and Lindsay Hutchins. Boy, did I hate them...
The first day of high school was surrounded with confusion. Twice I sat in the wrong class for about ten minutes before realizing my error and I recall fawning over a certain female specimen as I did for much of my high school career. Otherwise, I spent most of my time drowning in the massive crowd of people at William Fremd High School.
And of course, my first day of class at Augustana was nothing short of memorable. Finally, after thirteen years of schooling with roughly the same crowd of people, I finally had a clean slate and was at a place 175 miles where the name "Adil" didn't carry a very specific connotation. Upon beginning my first ever college course, "Origins of Feminism in the Ancient World," with a professor who looked like a vegan lesbian, my first words to her were:
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure!"
"Women's rights!"
This incident reminds of how humanity, no matter how advanced their society will reach, always uses their knowledge in order to kill people more efficiently. Alfred Nobel invents dynamite for use in mining operations, yet humans use its explosive potential for harming others. The same goes for Einstein learning the massive energy potential of splitting atoms, where man chose to create a weapon of immeasurable destruction. Just as humanity is doomed to forever degenerate to commiting mass fratricide, I am doomed to forever deface my image as quickly as possible.
Anyways, after the class collectively gasped in awe that I actually said what I did, the teacher sternly looked at me.
"Wanna hear an even funnier joke?"
For that fraction of a moment between the setup and the punchline, I was truly scared. I had gone too far this time--my safety net of "Oh, it's just Adil being Adil" wasn't there to save me. And then she said it.
"A sensitive man!"
As she exploded in a fit of laughter that sounded something like the Wicked Witch of the West, I sighed in relief that I would be okay. But after that, when people heard the name "Adil," they knew exactly what that entailed.
I was too tired to think as I ate some cottage cheese and a piece of toast with some hummus smeared on top of it this morning at 4:30AM and I was in too much of a rush to get ready this morning. But when I stepped onto the platform at Fullerton station off of the Purple Line Express train, I came to a realization: I was presented with yet another clean slate.
Fortunately, I was dressed in my pink shirt, white pants, black vest and eyepatch, so I guess that was a subtle way of telling everyone who I was. But I didn' t do anything crazier than that. I had some ideas, but ultimately, I feel that if I lay low now, people won't know who Batman is when he shows up later this year.
As I neared the heart of campus, my greatest fear was realized. There was such a high concentration of douchebags all over the place that I could feel my vagina getting cleaner (or infected, depending on your standpoint) as I walked around. Augustana had its fair share of douchebags and douchebaguettes (the female form, as Dana and I coined last night), but this was crazy. Imagine it like Pokemon. Augustana was Red/Blue/Yellow, where there were only 151 in a relatively small world. DePaul is like Diamond/Pearl, where there's 493 spread all over a gigantic region. Hey, at least it's better than being surrounded by fobs!
Moving on...my first class was Japanese. Like any first-timer, I couldn't find the building for the life of me, even after the girl at the help desk described it as looking "like a giant cheese grater." And when I did find the building, the entire block was surrounded by a fence with a tiny opening on the opposite side from where I was. I was only about five minutes late, though. We didn't do much aside from simply practice basic greetings ("Hajime mashite!"), introductions ("Mohyuddin desu!") and the usual, "Pleased to meet you!" ("Douzo yoroshiku!). Nothing too hard, but I get the feeling that this class will be almost as bad as Organic Chemistry once it picks up. I suppose it's fortunate that my sensei seems like a very nice person. I'm a bit surprised that she's white, though.
Since I had about an hour and a half to burn between Japanese and OChem, I sat in the student center and read. However, I didn't want to be late for this class, so I started my quest to locate the classroom rather early. I ended up making a complete fool of myself upon asking an upperclassman for directions. I fumbled for my schedule in my pocket after getting lost in a building and pointed out where I needed to go. The kid looked at me with a "What are you, stupid?" expression and pointed to the classroom right behind me. Yeah...
The first day of OChem wasn't bad; it was nothing more than basic review of the most basic concepts in Chemistry. Stuff like how everything is made of atoms and atoms are made of protons, neutrons and electrons! I was surprised to see that the kids around me were taking notes so furiously. My professor does seem like a cool guy, though--he seems like a thirty year old hipster who rocks out to Ben Gibbard, which is completely fine by me.
Immediately afterwards was Intro to Philosophy. Being an idiot as usual, I walked about a two blocks in the wrong direction before realizing that the building is literally next door to where my OChem class was. Whoops... Anyways, the first image I got from the professor was pretty positive, since she seemed like she could be either the mom or simply an older version of a friend of mine named Allison. I really can't describe it (nor can I really describe Allison), but take my word for it. We spent most of the class just introducing ourselves and admitting how none of us really wanted to take the class as we're all just fulfilling a requirement. I've always wondered how the professors feel about that...
Afterwards, I decided to explore the campus for a bit, but my right foot was killing me, so I went for a swim for about an hour. It didn't do too much to alleviate my foot pain, so I ended up going home right as I got out. It's not like I had anything to do on campus anyways...
It was a pretty boring day, to be honest, but I suppose it's all I could have expected. Maybe Batman, Big Boss, Mario or Link should make an appearance earlier than planned to rile things up?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
An Open Letter to Adil Mohyuddin
Dear Adil Mohyuddin,
Hey there, this is Adil speaking. More specifically, your rational side. You know, that nagging voice in the back of your head that's always telling you to not do the dumb things you do? I know we don't talk much, since you ignore me most of the time and often drown me out with your awful, awful taste in music, but I figured I'd let you know a few things before you start your first day at DePaul tomorrow.
First of all, this is another major turning point in your life, much like how Augustana was two years back. We both know how things turned out there and I'm sure you realize that there were some things that you could have avoided in order to make your stay just a bit more enjoyable. I know you love your off-colour jokes, but don't be so upfront with them so soon—you end up scaring more people than you do making them laugh. And be sure to cut down on the swearing along with your copious use of the N-word (you now are in downtown Chicago, not Whiteboyville, USA!). So no matter how much you want to tell that joke about women's rights, listen to me and stop yourself before you get yourself killed by some vegan feminist lesbian who doesn't realize you're only kidding.
However, don't let that stop you from making new friends. I understand you're more nervous than ever about socializing, but let me put it in terms you can understand. Your current friends are Pokémon you've caught. Now, while you do have your main team of six, you can always add more Pokémon to your boxes in PCs all over the Pokémon Centers in the world, along with rearranging your team to best fit your situation at the time. So don't think of new friends as replacements for your Augustana friends (or any of your other groups), but rather as additions to an ever-increasing family. And hey, even if a friendship ends, don't dwell on it too much, as it's nothing more than natural progression.
And you know what? Even in a school as bad as Augustana, you managed to make a pretty large group of friends spanning every clique possible. I don't know where you get off in telling everyone that you were completely alone, because you never were. Remember that day on the boat when you met Megan, Jon, Shmoo and Nikki? That was your second day on campus and you were already practically a celebrity due to your antics. You seriously have got to stop being so emo about things. And at worst, it's an hour long train ride to Lindsay's place. You'll still have them for company.
But of course, you're not going to school so you can make more friends or check out hot girls (though the lack of girls with glasses on campus is a bit disheartening, I must say). You're there first and foremost so you can get an education. You had a very valid excuse for your poor performance at Augustana. But you had a pretty half-assed excuse for your less-than-perfect performance at Harper. And with DePaul? Think of this year as The Boss... as your Operation Snake Eater. You are Naked Snake and it's your mission to defeat her. Yes, she's packing a fucking Patriot and knows CQC better than you ever will, to the point where she'll beat your ass down so hard she'll be making pancakes with your asscheeks, but you still have to beat her, and nothing short of your best will allow you to do that. And when you do, you truly will ascend to the title of Big Boss.
And another thing. Cut down with the video game references. The whole video game celibacy thing is a pretty good start (even though I know you've already broken it ever so slightly), but people don't find it funny when you somehow manage to tie Pokémon or Super Mario Bros. into completely unrelated conversations all the time—they'll think you're that kid who lives in his mom's basement and sits in front of his computer raging about pointless things on forums...wait, that's what you do already. Look, just try to show people that there's another facet of you. If anything, you might even learn a thing or two about yourself you didn't know. Like hey, I'm sure you didn't know that you were once a brilliant writer that's now gotten rusty. Remember the Toilet Times? That was the peak of your genius. Try to top that this year in some way.
Speaking of toppings, your weight is getting to be at a near-heart attack level. Face it; you're fat and people judge you because of it. Now, don't go swimming and working out for such a vain reason. When you choose to eat healthier, do it because both your mother's and father's sides of your family have diabetes running through them. Sure you'll be able to cosplay better and girls will find you more attractive, but at the end of the day, if you get into shape now, you'll have more time to spend with your children and grandchildren in the future. That is to say, if you can find someone who fits both your extremely narrow criteria and your parents' even narrower requirements for a wife.
And speaking of girls? They're nothing more than wastes of time who simply want to steal your money and possessions. Think about it. The only reason Dana even talks to you is because you gave her an NES and Ikaruga. Lindsay just wants a female friend that won't move in on Derek...and you happen to be that female friend (plus, you're too ugly for Derek, anyways). The Augustana girls only like you because you cooked for them and smeared oatmeal and egg whites on their faces. They're all nothing but giant leeches out to suck you dry (and not in the way you'd want).
Look, all I'm saying is that you can't afford to mess up this year. Your parents have sacrificed so much, dating back to decades before you were even born, so that you could live a better life than they did. Faisal is allowing you to stay in his place without objection because he understands it's what you need to do well this year. And you know what? I'll say it now and only now. You're a likable kid. Everyone is cheering for you as hard as they can because they want you to succeed. You told me once that you would do your best to not break any of your promises to those you loved. If you fall back onto your usual lazy ways, you'll be doing exactly that, devastating every single person who has ever cared and will care about you. So please, think of everyone, from Rabiya and Musa to Mamoo Akram, before you decide to procrastinate or be lazy about things.
So yeah, just letting you know.
Sincerely,
Adil Mohyuddin
PS. What the hell is wrong with you and your obsession with that stupid eyepatch?!
Also, I understand that you like to close your posts with a song and some useless fact no one cares about, correct? Well, considering that I am you, I should follow suit.
I remember when you were younger and much more spoiled (as if that's possible), Faisal would play this song in an effort to get you to man up during the (oft-occurring) times you'd put the waterworks on display, even if it'd usually have the opposite effect. And I'm sure it's partly to blame as to why you're such an effeminate idiot nowadays.
Also, did you know that a young Adil loved to eat drywall? Yes, honest-to-God sheets of drywall. You used to consider them a delicacy...the way a bite would crunch at first, but soften up and become chewy as it dissolved within your saliva. But drywall? Wow...I sure got screwed over with that Birth Lotto.
Drywall...
Hey there, this is Adil speaking. More specifically, your rational side. You know, that nagging voice in the back of your head that's always telling you to not do the dumb things you do? I know we don't talk much, since you ignore me most of the time and often drown me out with your awful, awful taste in music, but I figured I'd let you know a few things before you start your first day at DePaul tomorrow.
First of all, this is another major turning point in your life, much like how Augustana was two years back. We both know how things turned out there and I'm sure you realize that there were some things that you could have avoided in order to make your stay just a bit more enjoyable. I know you love your off-colour jokes, but don't be so upfront with them so soon—you end up scaring more people than you do making them laugh. And be sure to cut down on the swearing along with your copious use of the N-word (you now are in downtown Chicago, not Whiteboyville, USA!). So no matter how much you want to tell that joke about women's rights, listen to me and stop yourself before you get yourself killed by some vegan feminist lesbian who doesn't realize you're only kidding.
However, don't let that stop you from making new friends. I understand you're more nervous than ever about socializing, but let me put it in terms you can understand. Your current friends are Pokémon you've caught. Now, while you do have your main team of six, you can always add more Pokémon to your boxes in PCs all over the Pokémon Centers in the world, along with rearranging your team to best fit your situation at the time. So don't think of new friends as replacements for your Augustana friends (or any of your other groups), but rather as additions to an ever-increasing family. And hey, even if a friendship ends, don't dwell on it too much, as it's nothing more than natural progression.
And you know what? Even in a school as bad as Augustana, you managed to make a pretty large group of friends spanning every clique possible. I don't know where you get off in telling everyone that you were completely alone, because you never were. Remember that day on the boat when you met Megan, Jon, Shmoo and Nikki? That was your second day on campus and you were already practically a celebrity due to your antics. You seriously have got to stop being so emo about things. And at worst, it's an hour long train ride to Lindsay's place. You'll still have them for company.
But of course, you're not going to school so you can make more friends or check out hot girls (though the lack of girls with glasses on campus is a bit disheartening, I must say). You're there first and foremost so you can get an education. You had a very valid excuse for your poor performance at Augustana. But you had a pretty half-assed excuse for your less-than-perfect performance at Harper. And with DePaul? Think of this year as The Boss... as your Operation Snake Eater. You are Naked Snake and it's your mission to defeat her. Yes, she's packing a fucking Patriot and knows CQC better than you ever will, to the point where she'll beat your ass down so hard she'll be making pancakes with your asscheeks, but you still have to beat her, and nothing short of your best will allow you to do that. And when you do, you truly will ascend to the title of Big Boss.
And another thing. Cut down with the video game references. The whole video game celibacy thing is a pretty good start (even though I know you've already broken it ever so slightly), but people don't find it funny when you somehow manage to tie Pokémon or Super Mario Bros. into completely unrelated conversations all the time—they'll think you're that kid who lives in his mom's basement and sits in front of his computer raging about pointless things on forums...wait, that's what you do already. Look, just try to show people that there's another facet of you. If anything, you might even learn a thing or two about yourself you didn't know. Like hey, I'm sure you didn't know that you were once a brilliant writer that's now gotten rusty. Remember the Toilet Times? That was the peak of your genius. Try to top that this year in some way.
Speaking of toppings, your weight is getting to be at a near-heart attack level. Face it; you're fat and people judge you because of it. Now, don't go swimming and working out for such a vain reason. When you choose to eat healthier, do it because both your mother's and father's sides of your family have diabetes running through them. Sure you'll be able to cosplay better and girls will find you more attractive, but at the end of the day, if you get into shape now, you'll have more time to spend with your children and grandchildren in the future. That is to say, if you can find someone who fits both your extremely narrow criteria and your parents' even narrower requirements for a wife.
And speaking of girls? They're nothing more than wastes of time who simply want to steal your money and possessions. Think about it. The only reason Dana even talks to you is because you gave her an NES and Ikaruga. Lindsay just wants a female friend that won't move in on Derek...and you happen to be that female friend (plus, you're too ugly for Derek, anyways). The Augustana girls only like you because you cooked for them and smeared oatmeal and egg whites on their faces. They're all nothing but giant leeches out to suck you dry (and not in the way you'd want).
Look, all I'm saying is that you can't afford to mess up this year. Your parents have sacrificed so much, dating back to decades before you were even born, so that you could live a better life than they did. Faisal is allowing you to stay in his place without objection because he understands it's what you need to do well this year. And you know what? I'll say it now and only now. You're a likable kid. Everyone is cheering for you as hard as they can because they want you to succeed. You told me once that you would do your best to not break any of your promises to those you loved. If you fall back onto your usual lazy ways, you'll be doing exactly that, devastating every single person who has ever cared and will care about you. So please, think of everyone, from Rabiya and Musa to Mamoo Akram, before you decide to procrastinate or be lazy about things.
So yeah, just letting you know.
Sincerely,
Adil Mohyuddin
PS. What the hell is wrong with you and your obsession with that stupid eyepatch?!
Also, I understand that you like to close your posts with a song and some useless fact no one cares about, correct? Well, considering that I am you, I should follow suit.
I remember when you were younger and much more spoiled (as if that's possible), Faisal would play this song in an effort to get you to man up during the (oft-occurring) times you'd put the waterworks on display, even if it'd usually have the opposite effect. And I'm sure it's partly to blame as to why you're such an effeminate idiot nowadays.
Also, did you know that a young Adil loved to eat drywall? Yes, honest-to-God sheets of drywall. You used to consider them a delicacy...the way a bite would crunch at first, but soften up and become chewy as it dissolved within your saliva. But drywall? Wow...I sure got screwed over with that Birth Lotto.
Drywall...
Monday, September 8, 2008
Moving In
At the moment, I'm typing this from Faisal's condo from a crappy laptop that Tahir gave me. This place in Evanston is where I'll be living for until at least January due to school. Aside from clothes and various hygienic essentials, I've brought nothing. Thus, effective today, I am celibate towards video games. If I am to play a game, it'll only be on weekends, provided I have no homework to do.
You know, the fact that I have this crappy laptop is a very good thing. Because if this thing ran Team Fortress 2, I would never get any work done. While I'm sure I could stick an SNES emulator and waste time with Fire Emblem 5, I have to resist the urge to do so.
Anyways, Faisal and I brought my stuff in last night after watching the Bears game. I still feel pretty bad that I'm living here, since Faisal does need his privacy, seeing that he's a full-time English teacher (meaning he has a ton of papers to grade at all times) and a part time student getting a second Master's degree. I mean, he didn't even allow Aisha or Tahir to stay with him while they were in between apartments! I feel more like an intrusion, so I hope I won't betray his trust during my stay.
Ultimately, I guess I feel this way since I never bothered to visit Faisal very much ever since he purchased this place, if ever. And most of the time I would come, I'd spend much of it sleeping. And I hardly lifted a finger when he needed help remodeling. And now when his place serves my interests, my mood suddenly shifts and I'm willing to come over and help clean and such. I almost hate myself for thinking this way.
I guess at the end of the day, Faisal understands my situation and is willing to forgive me so that my college situation doesn't get any worse than it already is. And hey, at worst, I can always mooch off of Derek and Lindsay's place once one of their roommates moves out in January.
Song: One of my favorite Kirby songs in Mario Paint? Hell yes!
Factoid: So when HAL Labs was developing Kirby's Dream Land, the simple sprite that we know as Kirby was nothing more than a placeholder until they could finalize the real lead. However, the developers liked Kirby so much that they ended up keeping him.
You know, the fact that I have this crappy laptop is a very good thing. Because if this thing ran Team Fortress 2, I would never get any work done. While I'm sure I could stick an SNES emulator and waste time with Fire Emblem 5, I have to resist the urge to do so.
Anyways, Faisal and I brought my stuff in last night after watching the Bears game. I still feel pretty bad that I'm living here, since Faisal does need his privacy, seeing that he's a full-time English teacher (meaning he has a ton of papers to grade at all times) and a part time student getting a second Master's degree. I mean, he didn't even allow Aisha or Tahir to stay with him while they were in between apartments! I feel more like an intrusion, so I hope I won't betray his trust during my stay.
Ultimately, I guess I feel this way since I never bothered to visit Faisal very much ever since he purchased this place, if ever. And most of the time I would come, I'd spend much of it sleeping. And I hardly lifted a finger when he needed help remodeling. And now when his place serves my interests, my mood suddenly shifts and I'm willing to come over and help clean and such. I almost hate myself for thinking this way.
I guess at the end of the day, Faisal understands my situation and is willing to forgive me so that my college situation doesn't get any worse than it already is. And hey, at worst, I can always mooch off of Derek and Lindsay's place once one of their roommates moves out in January.
Song: One of my favorite Kirby songs in Mario Paint? Hell yes!
Factoid: So when HAL Labs was developing Kirby's Dream Land, the simple sprite that we know as Kirby was nothing more than a placeholder until they could finalize the real lead. However, the developers liked Kirby so much that they ended up keeping him.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Yet Another Trip to the Quad Shitties...
Augie has changed. It's no longer about LAN parties, all-nighters, or the gazebo. It's an endless series of awkward moments fought by memories and nostalgia. Augie—and its consumption of my life—has become a relic of the past.
Augie has changed. My time has ended. My stay is over. But there's one more thing I must do... One last punishment I must endure. Erase my genes... Wipe this meme from the face of the earth. This... is my final mission.
(Oh God, that Kimber Operator 1911 is so sexy...)
...At least that's what I had thought about a week ago, before what would be my final visit to Augustana College. In fact, due to my love of theatrics, I was thinking of not telling anyone that it would be my last visit and leaving all mysteriously while spreading all sorts of misinformation about my location. Ultimately, I'd leave a giant envelope with the above speech, enclosed along with a bunch of personalized letters to each of my friends saying goodbye. In fact, I'd even bought the stationery for this prank since, up until leaving, I was considering going through with it. Ultimately, I chose not to, not only because this prank was just too horrible for my morals, but because within the first half-hour of arriving, I realized that there was no reason for me to feel that way, since my worry of feeling out of place was just a paranoia trip.
Anyways, as I did with my Pitt trip, I'll go through what I did day by day.Friday:
I left for Jumah (Friday) prayer at the masjid, saw a squirrel get run over, went to work after prayers, stopped by the house for ten minutes to grab a few things and then left. I was hoping to catch the Bingo game at Augustana, so I took the short, but toll-ridden way there. I think it would've been my fastest drive to the QC if it wasn't for traffic and construction. In any case, I arrived on campus at about 9:15 and quickly changed into my Batman costume. Upon arriving at the College Center for Bingo, I was reunited with a large group of my friends waiting for me along with an even larger group of fresh blood that'd never seen Batman before. You know what? I'll admit it here and now: I dress up for the attention. Screw you.
Me, my wife Megan (right) and our adorable daughter Liz (center) after Bingo
Anyways, after a six game losing streak of Bingo, we left to head to the gazebo--which, two years ago, was a haven for all of my friends to hang out and simply enjoy ourselves without having to worry about whatever was on our minds at the time. Glad to see that hadn't changed even after this time. Plus, there's nothing more delightful than harassing slews of drunk kids as Batman. Afterwards, we visited two of my friends in desk security at their respective posts. That night, I was often asked, "Why so serious?" I responded (in my Batman voice, no less), "Because my parents are deeeaaaad!" Anyways, later that night I attempted to meet up with the other set of friends I know. Upon learning the location of their house thanks to Penis Sam, I managed to break in since the door was unlocked. Unfortunately, no one was home except for Oz, who was a bit shocked when I grabbed him and yelled "Where is he?!" I felt bad afterwards because his girlfriend was sleeping at the time, but fortunately she didn't wake up. Oz was kind enough to drop me off where the other kids were. Attempting to surprise them, the plan backfired when some girl I'd never met answered the door leading me to believe I'd gotten the wrong house. So I didn't get to scare anyone, but I was met with quite a bit of tipsy joy when everyone saw me. It's nice being appreciated for once (I'm looking right at you, Lindsay...). We soon left said person's house, who shared it with a girl who despises me (it's a long story) and went back to the Kremlin, as they called it, where they forced me to play Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. I must say, the gun porn in that game is almost overwhelming. There's some sick pleasure I get from tacticooling the hell out of an M4 and shooting a FROG with a Masterkey. Anyways, I got back to Megan's house at about 6AM. I half-expected to run into Lindsey since she wakes up so early, but at that point I was so tired I just collapsed in the basement and went to bed. Oh, and I forgot to mention; I was staying in a house of four girls. It was either that or a house of guys that hadn't had the dishes done since July and most likely never had the trash taken out (or even thrown away for that matter), along with booze scattered all over the place.Saturday:
I don't even remember what the morning was like. I remember having a cute family breakfast with the girls, but I can't recall what we ate. Maybe if one of them reads this, they can remind me. After showering, ironing my clothes for the stay, and getting dressed, Lindsey and I walked first to the Kremlin to mess with Andrew's Airsoft guns for short bit and then headed towards Aldi to shop for materials to make dinner that night.
I initially planned to make my two specialties. The first is known as Chicken Makhni, which translates to Butter Chicken, a slight misnomer because there's no butter used in the dish. Apparently it's known by the name because of the texture of the sauce...which is why my friends call it Nacho Curry. The second is my corn, the still nameless dish that's been met with disgust about 100% of the time I mention it to people, but is almost universally loved once they get to know it. Hey, it reminds me of me! I also decided to make a lentil dish (known as "dahl," the same word for the letter "d" in Arabic) for Shmoo since she's a vegetarian. Lindsey and I proceeded to start making dinner around 5:30, after another MGS4 session at the Kremlin.
Note to self: Tell Steve to hire Lindsey when we open the Bitchin' Kitchen in the future.
As dinner was completed, the corn turned out wonderful as usual (and I made new believers of my cooking philosophy!), as did the Nacho Curry. However, Liz couldn't handle the spices, but that may have been because she bit into a cardamom seed, which isn't the best idea. I was actually worried that there'd be an imbalance of spices among the other materials (seeing that I brought the amount required from home and didn't have immediate access to any more), but it turned out pretty well. As for the dahl, I'll admit that it didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. It was my first attempt and my mom did say that it's a harder dish to make, but Shmoo and the rest of the girls liked it, so I was happy. Live and learn, no? Hopefully next time I'll do better. I mean, I'm sure even my mom (the greatest cook on this planet) wasn't proud of the dishes she made during her younger days.
Afterwards, I ditched the girls (as they were headed to some concert) to walk around campus for a bit, hoping to run into some people that I'd known during my yearlong visit. I ran mostly into people I didn't recognize, so I returned to Megan's house, where Lindsey, Liz and I walked to Whitey's Ice Cream (how apt) to get dessert. Afterwards, I headed towards the Kremlin to mess around with Andrew's Airsoft guns a bit more. It was actually rather funny, because as I was firing his M14, I was approached by a man who began questioning me about the gun. I freaked out for a bit, thinking it was an off-duty cop that was about to bust a brown kid with a gun. It turned out it was just the landlord with some info about the house who was quite the gun nut. We began talking about guns, of course, and I guess he owns everything from an AK to a Garand. Now I wish I'd stayed simply so he could've taken me with him to a range...
Later that night the kids at the Kremlin decided to have a party (yes, that kind of party)...and that awkward feeling returned full force as I simply sat in the corner while they all drank and talked about stuff that I had no idea about. Fortunately, April was nice enough to listen to my laments and made me feel better. Even still, I felt out of place so I took another walk around campus with Jake, who also wasn't drinking. Of course, I then received a barrage of phone calls by Dale, Jack and Andrew wanting me to play more MGS4.
Allow me to explain. I used to dress up as Big Boss at Augustana before Batman entered the picture. Unfortunately, no one knew who Big Boss actually was. So I introduced Dale, Jack and Andrew to the MGS series by playing through MGS1-3 during 12-4AM every night for about a month. Thus, when MGS4 came out, they didn't want anyone but me to play it for them for tradition's sake. I couldn't argue with that.
I got back to Megan's place around 5AM this time. I wasn't tired for whatever reason, so I decided to watch an episode of Cowboy Bebop before falling asleep. Next thing I know, it's 9AM and the DVD is on loop at the title screen. I guess I was tired after all.
I initially planned to make my two specialties. The first is known as Chicken Makhni, which translates to Butter Chicken, a slight misnomer because there's no butter used in the dish. Apparently it's known by the name because of the texture of the sauce...which is why my friends call it Nacho Curry. The second is my corn, the still nameless dish that's been met with disgust about 100% of the time I mention it to people, but is almost universally loved once they get to know it. Hey, it reminds me of me! I also decided to make a lentil dish (known as "dahl," the same word for the letter "d" in Arabic) for Shmoo since she's a vegetarian. Lindsey and I proceeded to start making dinner around 5:30, after another MGS4 session at the Kremlin.
Note to self: Tell Steve to hire Lindsey when we open the Bitchin' Kitchen in the future.
As dinner was completed, the corn turned out wonderful as usual (and I made new believers of my cooking philosophy!), as did the Nacho Curry. However, Liz couldn't handle the spices, but that may have been because she bit into a cardamom seed, which isn't the best idea. I was actually worried that there'd be an imbalance of spices among the other materials (seeing that I brought the amount required from home and didn't have immediate access to any more), but it turned out pretty well. As for the dahl, I'll admit that it didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. It was my first attempt and my mom did say that it's a harder dish to make, but Shmoo and the rest of the girls liked it, so I was happy. Live and learn, no? Hopefully next time I'll do better. I mean, I'm sure even my mom (the greatest cook on this planet) wasn't proud of the dishes she made during her younger days.
Another note to self: Lindsey is way hotter than Lindsay.
Afterwards, I ditched the girls (as they were headed to some concert) to walk around campus for a bit, hoping to run into some people that I'd known during my yearlong visit. I ran mostly into people I didn't recognize, so I returned to Megan's house, where Lindsey, Liz and I walked to Whitey's Ice Cream (how apt) to get dessert. Afterwards, I headed towards the Kremlin to mess around with Andrew's Airsoft guns a bit more. It was actually rather funny, because as I was firing his M14, I was approached by a man who began questioning me about the gun. I freaked out for a bit, thinking it was an off-duty cop that was about to bust a brown kid with a gun. It turned out it was just the landlord with some info about the house who was quite the gun nut. We began talking about guns, of course, and I guess he owns everything from an AK to a Garand. Now I wish I'd stayed simply so he could've taken me with him to a range...
Later that night the kids at the Kremlin decided to have a party (yes, that kind of party)...and that awkward feeling returned full force as I simply sat in the corner while they all drank and talked about stuff that I had no idea about. Fortunately, April was nice enough to listen to my laments and made me feel better. Even still, I felt out of place so I took another walk around campus with Jake, who also wasn't drinking. Of course, I then received a barrage of phone calls by Dale, Jack and Andrew wanting me to play more MGS4.
Allow me to explain. I used to dress up as Big Boss at Augustana before Batman entered the picture. Unfortunately, no one knew who Big Boss actually was. So I introduced Dale, Jack and Andrew to the MGS series by playing through MGS1-3 during 12-4AM every night for about a month. Thus, when MGS4 came out, they didn't want anyone but me to play it for them for tradition's sake. I couldn't argue with that.
I got back to Megan's place around 5AM this time. I wasn't tired for whatever reason, so I decided to watch an episode of Cowboy Bebop before falling asleep. Next thing I know, it's 9AM and the DVD is on loop at the title screen. I guess I was tired after all.
Sunday:
Woke up relatively early yet again. The morning was a blur yet again, though I think this was the day Liz and I made eggs with tomato gravy. I felt a little bit like Naomi teaching Sunny how to make eggs in MGS4. Lindsey had one of her art pieces on display at the Figge Museum of Art in Davenport. When Faisal and I went to the museum back when I first visited Augustana as a prospective student, we arrived about ten minutes before it closed and weren't able to see much. Plus, Lindsey was planning on biking across the Mississippi on her own and I couldn't let her do that, so I figured I'd drive her. It was a pretty fun trip, though I felt awful that I didn't know she was an art major until I saw her piece, which was a sculpture of a geisha's head. The other works were pretty cool, too, like a teapot that looked like a chair.
Random Stupid Adil moment: I was looking at the parking meter trying to figure out how much change to put in when a guy drives by and yells "It's free on Sundays!"
Later that day, Jack and I attempted to find a Kosher butchery so he could make me a steak the way white people do. Our quest was fruitless, so Jake, April and I walked to Hyvee attempting to do the same. That quest, too, was fruitless. Afterwards, we went to my friend Allison's house in order to meet up to have dinner at La Rancherita--a restaurant which every Augustana student is required to eat at their first week of attending the school. I guess it was better two years late than never. Now I wish I had known about the place earlier, since it was delicious, especially the salsa. It was so good that I ate the entire bowl to the shock of my friends, since I guess to them, even a tiny bit on top of a chip was enough to kill them with the spiciness.
When we'd left the restaurant, Allison had the crazy idea of dying my hair. I couldn't say no to that. The trip to Walgreen's was pretty embarrassing for everyone. April saw her ex-boyfriend buying condoms and I publicly noted how badly I wanted to bang Allison solely due to her purple hair, right in front of the cashier. I felt pretty bad afterwards, actually, since she has to go to that Walgreens if she needs any pharmaceutical needs. At least she has a friend there, now...
Now, the thing with dying my hair is that the pure black hairs are pretty much unaffected by anything except a concentrated dose of bleach. Seeing that I love having black hair (and that brown hair on Desi's is a sure sign they're a douchebag), my silver/gray hairs are the only ones that actually ended up getting dyed, much as they did two years prior when they were dyed purple.
I had four choices in hair dyes: red, blue, purple and pink. I've already done purple, so that was out. I thought blue would be too dark with my black hair, so that left red and pink. I wanted to do red in order to make Lindsay proud of me, but I gave into peer pressure and went pink. At least Shmoo thought I looked hot...even if she is a lesbian.
Later that night, the girls and I had our spa night. Since Megan didn't have any masque on hand, we ended up making our own with household items as noted in that previous post. It kinda looked like we were puking on the person having the mixture spread across their face. I did notice my face felt smoother after washing off the faux masque. Maybe I should make this a regular thing?
The spa night continued with some massages, which I have too much fun with. I could have used one myself, now that I think about it, since my back was hurting from sitting so awkwardly whenever I played MGS4. Megan did walk on my back Saturday night, popping a few vertebrae into place, but I should have had her do it a second time.
I will admit that I love doing girly things. I wish I had more feminine friends, sometimes.
Again, I ditched the girls for some more MGS4 action at the Kremlin that night. I had to beat this game before I left. Plus, I was having WAY too much fun forgetting that it's supposed to be about sneaking and instead just killed everyone. I got home around 5AM as usual. This time, I was too tired to crawl on top of the futon and ended up passing out on the floor. I'm actually quite surprised I didn't wake up in a puddle of drool!
Random Stupid Adil moment: I was looking at the parking meter trying to figure out how much change to put in when a guy drives by and yells "It's free on Sundays!"
Later that day, Jack and I attempted to find a Kosher butchery so he could make me a steak the way white people do. Our quest was fruitless, so Jake, April and I walked to Hyvee attempting to do the same. That quest, too, was fruitless. Afterwards, we went to my friend Allison's house in order to meet up to have dinner at La Rancherita--a restaurant which every Augustana student is required to eat at their first week of attending the school. I guess it was better two years late than never. Now I wish I had known about the place earlier, since it was delicious, especially the salsa. It was so good that I ate the entire bowl to the shock of my friends, since I guess to them, even a tiny bit on top of a chip was enough to kill them with the spiciness.
When we'd left the restaurant, Allison had the crazy idea of dying my hair. I couldn't say no to that. The trip to Walgreen's was pretty embarrassing for everyone. April saw her ex-boyfriend buying condoms and I publicly noted how badly I wanted to bang Allison solely due to her purple hair, right in front of the cashier. I felt pretty bad afterwards, actually, since she has to go to that Walgreens if she needs any pharmaceutical needs. At least she has a friend there, now...
Now, the thing with dying my hair is that the pure black hairs are pretty much unaffected by anything except a concentrated dose of bleach. Seeing that I love having black hair (and that brown hair on Desi's is a sure sign they're a douchebag), my silver/gray hairs are the only ones that actually ended up getting dyed, much as they did two years prior when they were dyed purple.
I had four choices in hair dyes: red, blue, purple and pink. I've already done purple, so that was out. I thought blue would be too dark with my black hair, so that left red and pink. I wanted to do red in order to make Lindsay proud of me, but I gave into peer pressure and went pink. At least Shmoo thought I looked hot...even if she is a lesbian.
Later that night, the girls and I had our spa night. Since Megan didn't have any masque on hand, we ended up making our own with household items as noted in that previous post. It kinda looked like we were puking on the person having the mixture spread across their face. I did notice my face felt smoother after washing off the faux masque. Maybe I should make this a regular thing?
The spa night continued with some massages, which I have too much fun with. I could have used one myself, now that I think about it, since my back was hurting from sitting so awkwardly whenever I played MGS4. Megan did walk on my back Saturday night, popping a few vertebrae into place, but I should have had her do it a second time.
I will admit that I love doing girly things. I wish I had more feminine friends, sometimes.
Again, I ditched the girls for some more MGS4 action at the Kremlin that night. I had to beat this game before I left. Plus, I was having WAY too much fun forgetting that it's supposed to be about sneaking and instead just killed everyone. I got home around 5AM as usual. This time, I was too tired to crawl on top of the futon and ended up passing out on the floor. I'm actually quite surprised I didn't wake up in a puddle of drool!
Monday:
Gah, this post is WAY too long. I need to find a way to compress this.
I visited more people, including Nicole, who's among my favorite people at Augustana. I felt completely awful that I left last time without saying goodbye and was really worried that maybe she had graduated. And with a name like Nicole Nelson, tracking her down via Google or whatever would have been impossible, especially since she rejects any form of convenient communication technology, like e-mail and cell phones. Needless to say, I was delighted when I learned she was a senior this year, so I still had a chance to talk and give her a proper goodbye.
I've realized something. There's no substitute for having a good conversation with someone while sitting out on the back porch and admiring the beauty of nature. I wish I could do that more often, especially with someone as insightful as Nicole.
Anyways, I spent most of the day going back and forth between the Kremlin and playing MGS4 and going to Megan's house to hang out with the girls. I wore my vest all day, even if it was 95 degrees out. You see, I have a pretty poor self-image. But God damn, I look gorgeous in that vest. Especially when wearing a pink shirt that matched my new hair color. And I just had to toss in my Big Boss eyepatch. I met Megan's mom for a second and I guess she wanted to joke about it, but didn't want to offend me, since she wasn't sure if it was real or not. I also spent a little bit of time at April's house, which had a pretty cool attic hidden inside of a closet.
Also, I'd thought that it was the first day of Ramadan, until Faisal told me otherwise. So I fasted for about half the day and ended up breaking it by making a bagel sandwich at Nicole's place. I guess we have very similar tastes in food. Looks like I'll be making more Nacho Curry during my next visit.
That night, I beat MGS4. I do love how the end of the game is about an hour of actual gameplay and about four hours of cutscenes. Then again, that describes the entire MGS series pretty well, haha. This time, I got home at 4AM, my earliest return yet! I really appreciate how Megan gave me the key to her house for the weekend. I certainly wouldn't have trusted someone like me with it.
I visited more people, including Nicole, who's among my favorite people at Augustana. I felt completely awful that I left last time without saying goodbye and was really worried that maybe she had graduated. And with a name like Nicole Nelson, tracking her down via Google or whatever would have been impossible, especially since she rejects any form of convenient communication technology, like e-mail and cell phones. Needless to say, I was delighted when I learned she was a senior this year, so I still had a chance to talk and give her a proper goodbye.
I've realized something. There's no substitute for having a good conversation with someone while sitting out on the back porch and admiring the beauty of nature. I wish I could do that more often, especially with someone as insightful as Nicole.
Anyways, I spent most of the day going back and forth between the Kremlin and playing MGS4 and going to Megan's house to hang out with the girls. I wore my vest all day, even if it was 95 degrees out. You see, I have a pretty poor self-image. But God damn, I look gorgeous in that vest. Especially when wearing a pink shirt that matched my new hair color. And I just had to toss in my Big Boss eyepatch. I met Megan's mom for a second and I guess she wanted to joke about it, but didn't want to offend me, since she wasn't sure if it was real or not. I also spent a little bit of time at April's house, which had a pretty cool attic hidden inside of a closet.
Also, I'd thought that it was the first day of Ramadan, until Faisal told me otherwise. So I fasted for about half the day and ended up breaking it by making a bagel sandwich at Nicole's place. I guess we have very similar tastes in food. Looks like I'll be making more Nacho Curry during my next visit.
That night, I beat MGS4. I do love how the end of the game is about an hour of actual gameplay and about four hours of cutscenes. Then again, that describes the entire MGS series pretty well, haha. This time, I got home at 4AM, my earliest return yet! I really appreciate how Megan gave me the key to her house for the weekend. I certainly wouldn't have trusted someone like me with it.
Tuesday:
I was hoping I wouldn't sleep the day away, but unfortunately, the previous three nights of getting minimal sleep were catching up with me. Also, considering I had a three hour drive ahead of me that night and I had to wake up at 7AM on Wednesday, I decided it'd be best for me to get some additional sleep beforehand, since today was the first true day of fasting. Thus, I wouldn't be able to fall back on caffeine at all.
Since everyone had classes/work to attend to today, I spent most of the time by myself. I figured now would be a good as time as any to visit the friends I had on the Augustana Faculty.
Now, there were only two people I truly respected that were a part of that group. The first was Michael Tendall, my counselor who talked me through a lot of my psychological problems. We met weekly starting around January 2007 up until when I finally left. I honestly cannot thank him enough for all his help in keeping me [marginally] sane during those times when I couldn't sleep and was having crazy thoughts in my head. I do recall him telling me once that it would be thanks enough that I recovered, so I'm sure he was happy to see that I was doing well.
The second person whom I truly respected at Augustana was Dean Stephen Backmeyer, a seemingly bitter old man whom I dealt with on multiple occasions when I got into trouble. What I loved about him was how rational he was; upon explaining my situation about why I got into the trouble I did, he understood completely and let me off of the hook without much of a problem. In fact, he even pulled some strings for me so that once I decided I would leave Augustana, it would be with as few problems as possible. Also, I found it hilarious that when I was caught with Airsoft guns in my room, we ended up spending more time talking about guns than he did yelling at me. He was also happy to see that I was doing well. And it was even nicer to see that he was taking steps to change Augustana so situations like mine wouldn't happen again.
See, I recall one very specific series of events whenever I discussed my thoughts for leaving Augustana with staff members. Every single person would offer their sympathies and listen to me, but always gave me advice that I should stay, and even going so far as to lie to me so that I would stay. I assume they wanted me to do so not only because I was a source of income for them, but a source of diversity in a school that was starving for color. Ultimately, they were more interested in their own interests or the interests of Augustana College as a whole instead of my own well-being. They were investing their time and fake-sympathy so that I would suffer for longer just so they could make some extra money and have some better PR. It truly disgusts me.
Mr. Tendall and Dean Backmeyer were the only two people who were willing to listen to me for real and offer their true opinion. Ultimately, they were entertaining both sides of my dilemma and understood that leaving was in my best interests. Not only that, but I just felt that they were speaking to me not because they were pursuing their own interests, but rather that they saw that I needed support and desired to see me feel better. That, you see, is how more people should be. I'm glad that Augustana has at least two good staff members on a team of hundreds.
After seeing the two of them, I went to visit Taddy Kalas, the polar opposite of the two people I mentioned above. Don't even get me started on her nor the lies she told me in order to get me to stay. I just needed her to send some information to DePaul regarding transferring credits. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she's forgotten already.
I spent the rest of the day in the College Center, hanging out like days of old. It was nice seeing more old friends and getting all nostalgic about the past. After making one final visit to the Kremlin and getting Jake started on MGS1, as watching my play through MGS4 piqued his interest in the series, I started to get my stuff together to leave. I spent my last few hours running around campus saying goodbye to everyone and then headed home. I had intended to stop at the Moline Masjid for Iftar, but I just didn't have the time to spend since I needed to get home in order to wake up so early the next day. The drive home wasn't bad aside from the construction. I drove more conservatively, as my previous drive home from Augustana resulted in my first ticket.
Looking back, I think this was my favorite visit to Augustana. While quite a few of my friends had graduated by now, my time wasn't spread so thinly as I tried to make an effort to spend time with so many people. I think I stayed long enough to where I got all that I needed to be done without overstaying my welcome. But most importantly, I realized I still have a place at Augustana, despite so much that has changed in my absence. Of course, things would have changed had I stayed anyways, so the sooner I realized that, the sooner I began to enjoy myself.
So, would anyone like to come with me when I go in December?
As for the song of the post, I've always found that this song represented my stay at Augustana almost too perfectly. There's so many little pieces to the song that each signify the various facets of that year, each carrying so much emotion, like pain, fear, fury, sorrow and joy. I can't really explain it, but I hope you get the idea. Also, that last bit that starts about 5:07 into the song always gives me the chills when I hear it.
And a random factoid? Did you know that Shigeru Miyamoto wanted Kirby to be yellow, while Masahiro SAKURAIII (Kirby's creator) wanted him to be pink? The argument endured up to the point where artwork of the game couldn't be finalized, ultimately leading much of the early Kirby art to portray him as being in black and white, as his home console, the Game Boy, displayed him that way to begin with. Of course, Sakurai won in the end, though you can play as a yellow Kirby in the SSB games.
Whoo, time to sleep now.
Since everyone had classes/work to attend to today, I spent most of the time by myself. I figured now would be a good as time as any to visit the friends I had on the Augustana Faculty.
Now, there were only two people I truly respected that were a part of that group. The first was Michael Tendall, my counselor who talked me through a lot of my psychological problems. We met weekly starting around January 2007 up until when I finally left. I honestly cannot thank him enough for all his help in keeping me [marginally] sane during those times when I couldn't sleep and was having crazy thoughts in my head. I do recall him telling me once that it would be thanks enough that I recovered, so I'm sure he was happy to see that I was doing well.
The second person whom I truly respected at Augustana was Dean Stephen Backmeyer, a seemingly bitter old man whom I dealt with on multiple occasions when I got into trouble. What I loved about him was how rational he was; upon explaining my situation about why I got into the trouble I did, he understood completely and let me off of the hook without much of a problem. In fact, he even pulled some strings for me so that once I decided I would leave Augustana, it would be with as few problems as possible. Also, I found it hilarious that when I was caught with Airsoft guns in my room, we ended up spending more time talking about guns than he did yelling at me. He was also happy to see that I was doing well. And it was even nicer to see that he was taking steps to change Augustana so situations like mine wouldn't happen again.
See, I recall one very specific series of events whenever I discussed my thoughts for leaving Augustana with staff members. Every single person would offer their sympathies and listen to me, but always gave me advice that I should stay, and even going so far as to lie to me so that I would stay. I assume they wanted me to do so not only because I was a source of income for them, but a source of diversity in a school that was starving for color. Ultimately, they were more interested in their own interests or the interests of Augustana College as a whole instead of my own well-being. They were investing their time and fake-sympathy so that I would suffer for longer just so they could make some extra money and have some better PR. It truly disgusts me.
Mr. Tendall and Dean Backmeyer were the only two people who were willing to listen to me for real and offer their true opinion. Ultimately, they were entertaining both sides of my dilemma and understood that leaving was in my best interests. Not only that, but I just felt that they were speaking to me not because they were pursuing their own interests, but rather that they saw that I needed support and desired to see me feel better. That, you see, is how more people should be. I'm glad that Augustana has at least two good staff members on a team of hundreds.
After seeing the two of them, I went to visit Taddy Kalas, the polar opposite of the two people I mentioned above. Don't even get me started on her nor the lies she told me in order to get me to stay. I just needed her to send some information to DePaul regarding transferring credits. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she's forgotten already.
I spent the rest of the day in the College Center, hanging out like days of old. It was nice seeing more old friends and getting all nostalgic about the past. After making one final visit to the Kremlin and getting Jake started on MGS1, as watching my play through MGS4 piqued his interest in the series, I started to get my stuff together to leave. I spent my last few hours running around campus saying goodbye to everyone and then headed home. I had intended to stop at the Moline Masjid for Iftar, but I just didn't have the time to spend since I needed to get home in order to wake up so early the next day. The drive home wasn't bad aside from the construction. I drove more conservatively, as my previous drive home from Augustana resulted in my first ticket.
Looking back, I think this was my favorite visit to Augustana. While quite a few of my friends had graduated by now, my time wasn't spread so thinly as I tried to make an effort to spend time with so many people. I think I stayed long enough to where I got all that I needed to be done without overstaying my welcome. But most importantly, I realized I still have a place at Augustana, despite so much that has changed in my absence. Of course, things would have changed had I stayed anyways, so the sooner I realized that, the sooner I began to enjoy myself.
So, would anyone like to come with me when I go in December?
* * *
As for the song of the post, I've always found that this song represented my stay at Augustana almost too perfectly. There's so many little pieces to the song that each signify the various facets of that year, each carrying so much emotion, like pain, fear, fury, sorrow and joy. I can't really explain it, but I hope you get the idea. Also, that last bit that starts about 5:07 into the song always gives me the chills when I hear it.
And a random factoid? Did you know that Shigeru Miyamoto wanted Kirby to be yellow, while Masahiro SAKURAIII (Kirby's creator) wanted him to be pink? The argument endured up to the point where artwork of the game couldn't be finalized, ultimately leading much of the early Kirby art to portray him as being in black and white, as his home console, the Game Boy, displayed him that way to begin with. Of course, Sakurai won in the end, though you can play as a yellow Kirby in the SSB games.
Whoo, time to sleep now.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
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