If Lovin' You Is Wrong, Then I Don't Wanna Be Phoenix Wright

This poem is the end result of my extreme boredom a year back when I was going to Harper and had literally nothing to do but play video games and browse 4chan. The poem was my Valentine's Day gift the various women in my life. Yes, it's been horrendously overplayed since then, but I thought I'd give it one more shot. Honestly, I think it's a lot better when I perform it, but oh well. At least I can officially retire it...until V-Day 2010!

So anyways, here we go!

I love you
No, really, I truly do love you, with all of my heart
No, wait
I love you...with all of my hearts
Because I have three of them
And every time I think of you
I get another Heart Container to love you with
But it doesn't stop at twenty, no...it keeps going
Because I think you're the Metroid Prime lover for me
I think we should have a Metroid Fusion
(if you know what I mean)

Because I want nothing more
Than to have a Link's Awakening next to you in the morning.
I want you to waggle my Wiimote, charge my Beam Katana,
And Elite Beat my Agent with your God Hand.
I want you to pull my Master Sword out of my Pedestal of Time and make me into a man
And I want my Solid Snake to infiltrate your Outer Heaven
Or rather...Inner Heaven!

Because every night I have a Final Fantasy just thinking about you
Spending the rest of my Half Life in your arms
But then I get so depressed, because they'll simply remain Earthbound
And if you were to say no
My heart would burn to Ash
My eyes would become all Misty
And I'd think you'd have a soul of Brock

So when I ask, "Can you be my Jill Valentine?"
I want you to respond with:
SHORYUKEN!